Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Waking Up in a Dream...



What a surreal experience the last couple of months have been and especially the last couple of days.  Friday afternoon, I drove my husband to Denton county jail while he waits to be assigned to a federal prison where he will be serving for the next 18 ½ months.  Crime committed…conspiracy to commit wire fraud.  For those of you that have not known about our plight these last few years, here is a short breakdown of the story.  

My husband has been in the real estate business for the last 10 years.  A little over 5 years ago he started doing business with a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”.  This man appeared to be a man of integrity, a God fearing man, and a man of his word.  He and Rick became good friends and slowly Rick started investing money with him and this guy, named Ty, stared sending Rick a lot of business.  Long story short, there came a time when Rick helped him raise several million dollars for a development, which included a large portion of not only our money but our family’s and friends, and then Rick discovered this man was running a ponzi scheme.  All the money was gone.  Instead of walking away, Rick started to try and come up with ways to make money and continued doing business with Ty in hopes of paying back all of the investors who had lost their money.  In one final transaction that would restore some of the investors (not including us) their initial investment, Rick brought a legitimate deal to Ty who he knew would probably commit fraud on his end of the deal, which he did, but thought because he wasn’t doing anything wrong, it was okay.  Then Ty’s fraudulent business dealings were exposed and they charged my husband with conspiracy.  

Our attorney convinced us to sign a plea agreement in which we were told Rick had a very good chance at probation.  That was 2 years ago.  Come sentencing time, our attorney told us there was no way Rick would get probation and would most likely serve time.  Now I know why criminal attorneys have such a bad name.  He was basically trying to appease the prosecutor and government selling us on this plea deal, rather than looking out for our best interest.  I could go off on him here, but I will refrain for now.  All I can say is DO NOT put your trust in men, especially if they are advising you to accept anything other than the absolute truth.  A hard lesson we have had to learn, but also trusting God’s sovereignty in all of this.

Rick’s sentencing was set for August 9th in which the judge sentenced him to 22 months.  The ruling was made based on the federal guidelines of how much loss was incurred in the transaction.  He will serve 85% of that sentence per federal standard, to where in state cases like rape and murder, you usually only serve about 50% of your sentence.  Another really messed up glitch in the court system.

So here I am, in the middle of the “American Dream”, living with my sister-in-law, her husband and their 3 kids ages 8, 5, and 2.  My mother-in-law lives with us to.  She has been here for the last 2 years, so that has not been an adjustment.  (All of which, I might add, has gone surprisingly well.  And I also will say how deeply grateful I am for their willingness and sacrifice to do this so we wouldn’t have to move out of our house.  GRACE.)  We have soccer practice 3 times and week and games on weekends and jail visitation 2 times a week and once on weekends.  I’m still on the job hunt and just trying to trust that God will provide for us.  All my kids sleep in my room, and I have an office to myself.  

And that’s what it looks like.  And then I have to walk into a musty smelling white hallway crazy broken rough “inmate” occupied facility to visit someone I love very much behind a glass and speak to him by a phone and realize that this is NOT a dream.  And not only is it not a dream, this is the plan that God had for me before I was even born and it is GOOD.  And that Christ is in every moment of tears and walking every step with me as I dropped my husband off at that scary ghetto looking place where he would have to sleep and eat and shower and wait.  And that even though many people think of jail as throw away “getting what they deserve” worthless humans, the Lord has started to stir in me and open my eyes to his broken children that are in NEED of a savior and the jail is just a fishbowl for what already exists all around me that I have been completely blinded to.  And that my own summons for fairness and judgment has now melted into a cry for mercy and grace and I lament that I have thought myself better than these people.  Ugly, exposed, messy, raw heart…and only in God’s mercy and grace would He show me this!  So He can heal my heart from that darkness to give me more of Him.  This is His amazing Grace.  

And then there’s Rick.  When I see him I just want to cover him with a warm blanket and love him just the way he is.  To unsay all the hurtful things I have ever said.  To thank him for the last 7 weeks of getting up every morning and working hard and continuing to fight to provide for his family knowing he was leaving in a few weeks.  He continued to serve us and fix things around the house and sell all his possessions and kiss his kids and laugh and joke and hug me tight and take out the trash and clean the kitchen.  He continued to make sacrifices and push through the darkness with all the weight on his shoulders in hopes that his family would not have to suffer more.  Never once did he sit in the corner and sulk.  He pressed on.  And that is a mark of a COURAGEOUS man with HONOR and INTEGRITY.  A man of God in the ugly of life reveals the making of a new creation in Christ. 

This huge storm has been brewing in our lives for the past several years.  I almost feel like we have been on the Titanic, waiting for it to sink, but it has held on.  Too many times I fix my eyes on the looming storm rather than my savior.  I get stuck in the boat or sink in the waves as I stare into the future of the unknown.  God is calling me to Him.  To trust him fully.  And I don’t think I’ve really understood how to do that until now.  And maybe because the weight of it is so heavy that I can’t hardly stand it yet it is the only option left that will keep me alive.  To fix my eyes on Him.  Completely on Him.  Laying every fear at his feet and not looking at the what ifs and how comes and what nows.  To take myself out of the thick of my fears and sit on the side of a bank, as if those raging fears were a river, and watch them go by so as not to sweep me away.  

I will trust him today.  I will trust Him.  He is good and righteous and faithful and merciful.  I will bathe in that truth and He will restore my soul.  Psalms 23.  

And here will be my fragrant offering to my Savior.  To share with whoever will listen...the healing, restoration, and the hope of Jesus.   He is my knight in shining armor in every way.  And my prayer is He will be that for you too.

2 comments:

  1. Hi, I came from another blog, and I am grateful for the opportunity to follow your story. My ex husband also was charged and served time in Federal Prison (Seagoville, Tx) for conspiracy to commit fraud. He was sentenced to 10 months, 5 in prison and 5 home prison. Also, from real estate ventures, although no money ever changed hands. You will make it through this. Although my marriage failed, I encourage you to have the strength to make your marriage work. I didn't, for several reasons, I did not have support from my in laws. My ex called me and accused me of cheating on him every night he was gone. His denial, and my ability to read the notes from the case and realize he lied to me. Anyway, be strong. I don't have a blog, I just read others. If you need someone to talk to who has been through it my email is shelli_gentry@yahoo.com

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  2. Thanks for Posting Rachel, Although I havent met you. I am an old friend of Rick. I will keep you and him in prayer. My heart goes out to you.

    Beckett Kirk

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