This last week and a half has been a tough one. Emotions running high, so many things to do. Exhausted from lack of sleep and all that weighs heavy on my mind. It just plain hurts.
A sweet friend reminded me that these are the times that we look for the the beauty and gifts that are all around. To live in the spirit of gratitude and praise is the weapon against self-pity and despair. And it is a daily battle. To choose to see the good that God has all around and to thank Him. It is THE key to walking thru these dark valleys and still having joy.
A battle rages in my heart to keep my eyes on the ONLY one who SAVES. A fight for joy, for truth, to admit how truly weak and helpless we are as human beings is not something that I like to face. But here I am, stripped of so many comforts and securities that in the end are scrap metal. They have no value. He is giving me more of Him. More of the Cross. And more of His Grace to walk thru, especially in the ugly parts of this story. It is costly and heavy, but it is my cross to bear, and as Christ said it is for "the joy set before me" that He laid down His life for me. So I will focus on the joy before me as I let Him beat the tar our of my pride, and as I give more Grace to receive the blessing. It's amazing how far He will stretch you and not let you break. That is a miracle in itself that I have been blessed to experience. "When I am weak, He is strong".
Right now I'm looking for a sales job if you have any ideas or know of opportunities, please let me know. Also I'm hoping to take over Rick's title business and ramp it up so if you know realtors, loan officers, mortgage brokers I would love it if you could connect me to them. Rick's sister Robin and her family are planning on moving in with us to be a huge support, so please pray for renters for her home. Just continue to pray for God's provision for us now and when Rick is gone.
"I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10
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