“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” - C.S. Lewis
I’ve only talked to Rick a few times in the last week. The first time was two days after they had
moved him out of Denton County Jail. He
told me they had taken him all over the Dallas metroplex. He had gone from Denton to Plano to Sherman
back to Plano and then they put him in a county jail in Bonham, TX. This all happened between Wednesday and
Friday of last week. He was put in a detox
cell where some guy had vomited everywhere and Rick had to sit on the concrete
floor for 6 hours inhaling the stench. In
another holding cell he slept on the stone cold ground without even a blanket. They didn’t administer his medication that
he needs to keep his heart healthy. He
has two stints in two of the main arteries in his heart after having an
emergency procedure in January and his meds keep his heart healthy. They didn’t feed him for 14 hours in one
stretch and he had nowhere to shower.
Shackled like a dangerous animal, moved from cage to cage. To finally land South in Seagoville detention
center where he would wait to be moved once again.
It was a very rough few days. He said there were times where he felt like
he was going to lose his mind and then he would pray and a guard would come and
move him again. He is happy to be out of
the county system and in the Federal system.
The accommodations are much better and the prisoners are not
micromanaged by guards. There is more
room to move around and exercise. The
food is less like dog chow, they have regular mattresses, and he now has a
pillow. He can use a normal razor and
shaving cream so he has shaved his face.
There is more privacy when taking a shower and using the restroom. He sounds relieved and hopeful. It’s
the little things… He went from a navy
blue scrub type uniform to a bright orange frock. And he has already made friends.
And then there’s Ty.
He is the wolf clad in sheepskin that lured Rick into his den of lies and
stole so much from so many including us.
He too is in Seagoville. A
fateful encounter. A sweet and
unexpected grace arranged by a loving God.
Rick ate lunch with Ty the first day he was there. He laid down the burden of bitterness and
anger over a prison meal. And Ty
apologized and Rick forgave and the freedom that even prison can’t abolish was
granted to a wounded soul. How good is
the Lord that He would orchestrate such a meeting to mend hearts and remove
baggage and liberate from darkness. He
is a God at work for our good and His glory and blesses richly even in the most
broken and ugly places.
I went down on Sunday with my step-dad who is an attorney to
see if they would let me in with him on an attorney visit, but they wouldn’t. I have to fill out some paperwork and have a
background check which can take about 3 weeks to process. It was extremely disappointing, but I’m so grateful
he got to hug someone he loves.
They are moving him today to
Oklahoma. This is where all the Federal
prisoners in the United States are brought before they are taken to their
destination. He will be leaving Seagoville
on a bus with 25 other souls and picking up more along the way. This reality still seems like a movie to me. I wonder who he will meet, what he will see,
what stories he will hear, what experiences he will have. When I spoke with him yesterday he was
telling me some of the dynamics of the prison and how it is segregated among
the races and there is a spokesperson for each race who communicate to one
another. He was telling me about the guards. They have women guards in there instructing
these men. This is CRAZY! He was telling me some of the funny stories
of how the inmates interact with the guards and each other and how the crazy woman
guard calls them “mens” when addressing them as a whole. We were having a good laugh. You can always count on Rick to see the humor
and make jokes in a sad situation like this.
But I’m thankful for a good laugh with him. It makes it feel normal somehow.
He will be in Oklahoma for a week or two and then finally be
taken to Big Spring, TX where he will serve the rest of his sentence. It is a 5 hour drive from where we live. I probably won’t get to see him for another 3
weeks. I may not get to talk to him for
2 weeks while he is in Oklahoma. This
has been the hardest part for me. Not
knowing if he’s safe and where he is and what he’s going thru and if he needs
anything. And then the distance. I have no idea how we are even going to be
able to afford to see him that often.
And driving with 3 small children 10 hours on the road for just a day or
two honestly seems excruciating. It feels
like too much and somewhat impossible, but I know the Lord will make a way if
it is His will. He is up to something…
I’ve been weepy all week as what lies ahead starts to settle
in this jolted heart. Wiping away big tears
falling on soft cheeks holding tight my little brood as I convey the dismal
news. And we let it rain. But not without Hope. For “Those who sow in tears will reap with
songs of joy” –Psalm 126:5. There is a
Living Hope. Foretold by ancient
prophets long ago came to pass an eve that will soon be celebrated by many. It is not in getting everything we want and it
is not in perfect circumstances or toys or security or people. All of these things will betray us. They will never give what our heart longs
for. “He has made everything beautiful
in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot
fathom what God has done from beginning to end”
-Ecclesiastes 3:11. Jesus has
come to save and heal and redeem. And
this is the GREATEST HOPE that we could ever have. He is the Answer to our hearts calling from
the deepest place. He will carry us through this treacherous valley with
grace and renew our strength when we feel we can’t go another step and surround
us with his army of saints praying and loving and fighting faithfully with us. A treasure, a gift, a hero, a Savior. We get Him, and He is
enough!
So we wait. We forge on. And we persevere. And Christmas seems sweeter this year. Not because we have more stuff, but because
we have more of Him. And life is more
meaningful in ways that I have never known. He is showing me how much He loves me by the
prayers of so many, the encouraging words and gifts that help so much, our
family who is gracious and lives sacrificially, our church home group who has
rallied to serve and bless us, and
beautiful friends who have cried with me and loved me and been so generous. “Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of
the one heart that pumps through all those who don’t numb themselves to really
living” –Ann VosKamp. So this is really living...all for the Glory of His name.
Beautifully written
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