A Twisted Rose

"Every flood of trouble remakes the landscape of your soul - making you better or bitter." -Ann Voskamp

"Romance is the deepest thing in life.  It is deeper even than reality." -G.K. Chesterton

He offered her a rose.  It was his son.  Bringing the white tissue twisted gift resembling God’s thorny jewel of the earth.  Beautiful and delicate.  Carefully crafted.  But she wouldn’t take it.  She doesn’t like attention.  She doesn’t trust strangers.  And gifts do not entice my wary little girl.

 His name is “Gypsy”.  At least that’s what Rick calls him.  He’s Romanian with a big smile and a long banded ponytail.  He’s been in for 1o years and will finally walk free in a couple of weeks.  His little girl was our daughter’s age when he was taken away.  He has four children now teenagers and young adults.  His 21 year old son visiting had grown up seeing his father inside the walls of an institution.  

A first time offender slapped with a harsh sentence.    Little children left without their father.  Father’s missing out on the lives of their children.  Families broken and destroyed.  Same story over and over again.  

 

We sat in the courtyard and they threw a football to our boys.  Laughing and running and teaching them how to position their arms.  A beautiful picture of humanity.  A beautiful picture of Grace.  

Gypsy’s been Rick’s “personal trainer” for the last few months.  He’s done a wonderful job, I must say.  Rick’s lost quite a bit of weight working out most of the day.  His skin glows bronze from the hot sun on those dusty plains blazing red.  And he was telling me the little bit that Gypsy had shared with him about his life.  Never stops hurting to hear the story of brokenness and injustice.  

I sat musing .  The whole scene seemed surreal.  Joy and sadness intermingled in the hope of what is to come.  The sweet father and son, now young man, sitting together and bonding and engaging with my kids in such a kind and thoughtful way.  Wondering what it must be like to know that you will be walking into a new world with nothing and a family that has fallen apart and children who hardly know you and starting all over with a felony attached to your name and the baggage from being institutionalized and 10 years of life and youth now gone.  And yet the promises of freedom within reach.  A new life…a new hope…a new dawn.  

And who will give this man mercy?  What kind of a chance does he really have in picking up the pieces and getting a good job and making a decent living and reconnecting with his family?  And living for 10 years in a hostile environment where it is not safe to be vulnerable and you have to shut down the parts of your heart that feel compassion and longing and desire just to survive…how do you find a new safe place…where not only you are free, but so is your heart?

I loved watching my husband interact with him.  I could tell he cares about him.  He can’t help but care.  His tender heart has definitely been beaten down and calloused.  But Grace has been reshaping those bent places and turning beauty out and I know God is using him to touch the lives of those wrecked and hardened men.  Even when he can’t see it…even when it rubs raw…

Gypsy didn’t give up on Arista.  He kept wooing her and making roses for her and telling her how beautiful she was.  Five hours of patient persistence, always from a distance, and she finally gave him a smile and a “thank you”.  A rare offering from this guarded little lady.  He had won her over.

The last few months have been daunting.  Mountains of hard messy life piling high and raging storms obscuring the way.  And I'm finally understanding that The Way is not a path thru it.  It is a Person.  And although I may not see where I’m going and what lies ahead, He knows.  He authors the way.

Despair held me hostage because I was looking for a way out.  Fear was paralyzing me because I was looking directly at it.  But Grace has picked me up and is carrying me through because I finally said, yes.  “Your will be done. “

There is nothing like the love of Jesus.  NOTHING.  And maybe sometimes God lets us sink into deep grief hopeless nights to see how black it is without Him.  Feasting on sorrows never felt so empty.  Earthly comforts turn to dust.  And all you’re left with is a broken bleeding spirit.  And then Grace blasts in and the reality of His love and what it is fills that holy empty space and it is absolutely extraordinary.  Beyond description.  Outside of words.  Renewing and reviving and healing and redeeming.  

Pain pours the illusion of control right out of the heart so Grace can enter in and save us from ourselves.  

He is faithful…He is forgiving…He is merciful.   He pursues and romances.  Patiently waiting for His beloved's heart.  To give all that He has...all that He is...and fiercely loving us right where we are.  “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39