What Lies in the Manger...

“...And then, just when everything is bearing down on us to such an extent that we can scarcely withstand it, the Christmas message comes to tell us that all our ideas are wrong, and that what we take to be evil and dark is really good and light because it comes from God. Our eyes are at fault, that is all. God is in the manger, wealth in poverty, light in darkness, succor in abandonment. No evil can befall us; whatever men may do to us, they cannot but serve the God who is secretly revealed as love and rules the world and our lives.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, God Is in the Manger: Reflections on Advent and Christmas 

I heard it on the radio.  A couple of days ago.  While I was driving down a busy street with cars whipping by and angry hands flying high.  Wreaths hanging from the retail doors and red ribbons wrapping light posts.  A grey sky hovered while a howling wind was nipping at skin not hiding in warm fleece covering.  The oversized Christmas trees with jewels dripping holiday cheer didn’t drown out the contrast that was all around.

I don’t remember the exact statistics.  But the gist of it was this…the holidays are the most stressful time of the year for some…depression swells… lonely hearts hear the echoes of crowds…those who have lost loved ones ache empty in their absence…the financial steaming pile of mess rises with guilt taunting…dreams crushed… failures frustrate…and all that one had hoped for cannot be.

What I’m about to say may ignite a tender chord in some…but it is not meant to inflame…it’s just part of our choices and our story.

We don’t do Santa in our house.  I mean…we tell the story of the generous St. Nicolas who was a devout follower of Christ…and we carry on the tradition of leaving presents for our kids out when they wake on Christmas morning and those are their “Santa” gifts.  And the movies and stories are all watched and enjoyed, just like The Wizard of Oz.  But we don’t pretend it’s real.

I love the fun of Santa and the fantasy of Santa and the story of Santa.  Because, after all, I am one of the biggest fairy tale fans of all time.  Especially a good one.  Because the good ones are closer to reality…the real reality that we can’t even see.  And that’s why I love them.

But I found that I just couldn’t lie to my kids.  I tried it in the beginning with my first…and I was wrought with guilt and confusion and as a person who is passionate about Truth…it did not give me peace.  

It’s already confusing enough when you look around at the broken busted up world.  When in your own life there is war and deserts and floods and chaos.  And some people are just struggling to hang on to their last straw of hope to survive.  

I didn’t want them to think that Santa was something to hope in and believe in when there is something so much greater and more beautiful and more wondrous than Santa could EVER be.   

And so Advent…which means “coming”…the coming of the long awaited promise of God for a Savior…became a new tradition that began with my sweet family.  And it has pleasantly surprised me how excited about it the kids get and how they don’t want to miss one day.  25 days anticipating each night that we open our advent calendar door and read our new Ann Voskamp advent book with a different ornament to hang every night filled with what Christ is about and who He is and why He came to save us.  And that we are waiting for His second coming.  It has brought on more conversations about real life and real Grace and real Hope. 

And their hope isn’t in their behavior…whether they're naughty or nice…it’s in what lies in the manger...a Savior who came to give the biggest gift to all because we are ALL naughty.  And His mercy and love and life are greater gifts than any earthly possession could ever offer them. 

And as these last years and years and it seems years have been so very challenging for our family, there is no greater gift than I can give them but Hope in Christ.  And when all the bells are ringing and those carolers are singing…my hope is that their hearts swell love for Jesus.

The last year since Rick came home hasn’t been all that I hoped it would be.  I thought that we had been through all the hard stuff and that it was going to be a time of easy sailing.  Or at least not as hard.  And I’m a Santa kinda believer by default.  I just keep hoping that if I’m “good”…if I do everything “right” and I pay my dues in the suffering area…than I’m gonna get what I want.  I’m gonna get all I’ve been dreaming and hoping for that this world has been selling.  And then when it doesn’t come…I’m confused…and crushed…and down right angry sometimes. 

I find myself turning away from the Truth that is the very woven fabric of what my heart was made for…and seeking solace and comfort in things or people or even my dreams to take me away from the pain.

That’s been a lifelong struggle for me.  I love dreaming.  I love creating.  But my heart’s passion is Truth.  And that’s why I love fairy tales so much.  Because they are both there in the most epic of forms.  Colossal adversity met with suffering .  And a fight to end it all…with glorious redemption.   The matrix of the story is what our heart longs for.  It all points to Christ.

Our struggle has been so long in so many various forms and fashions and stages.  And I’ve been weary to the bone.  Not depressed…not hopeless…but weary.  And I’m learning and finding that it’s okay.  Because sometimes…we really just need to rest.  Rest in Him.  His promises his Grace and His Peace that passes all understanding.

And so my favorite part of Christmas…is Advent.  Coming to the end of the year…to the end of our dreams…to the end of our rope.  And laying it all down at the foot of a baby.  Who humbly came into the world through an unknown untouched teen in a dirty barn wrapped with holy rags of Grace.  The contrast is startling.  

My world belongs in His hands.  My future and my hopes and my disappointments and my dreams.  They’re all safely held in a promise of Hope.

Reflecting on who He really is.  How He came to this world.  Not like a hero’s glory with big guns and shiny armor.  But a poor boy who had nothing yet He had everything to offer.  

And so…at the end of the year…when the waiting feels like it’s stretching you thin.  When you’ve lost someone or something precious to you.  When your failures and mistakes seem unredeemable.  When you feel like it’s never gonna change or get better…and you feel weary and deplete. 

Grieve.   Let the tears flow.  Let the dreams go.  And embrace what the Lord has for you …as dark as it may seem…He will not leave you in the dark.  He came for you.  He left everything for you.  This is the real Christmas miracle.

Take a quiet moment and look where you’re hope lies.  Look around at what’s stealing your joy. 

And come to the Tree of Life…the Cross… and lay your weary heart down…all the broken pieces…and let His promises put them back together.  In a way that you’ve never dreamed.  

Open up the places that have been burning bitterness and let the Lord scrape the residue from the soot that has blackened your view.  

Kneel to forgiveness.   For it will unlock the bars that have held you captive.  

Accept that He has you right where He wants you.  May it be in the wilderness…in the desert…in a war raging fierce…in a flood overwhelming…or empty from all the loss. 

And KNOW that He loves you.  Every naughty broken fallen busted up angry piece of you.  You have not fallen so far that you are out of His reach.  His love is greater than your deepest darkest pit. 

 

All of these things require a humble heart.  God cannot work with the proud.  His very essence is one of humility.  This is our greatest challenge.  

When I start to feel sorry for myself…I fix my eyes on that manger bed…and look at my bed.  When I start to feel like I have suffered enough…I fix my eyes on that bloodied tree where He hung condemned as a criminal.  When I start to feel lost and alone…I run to Him and let Him cradle my heart with His promises and truth.

May our gaze fall away from ourselves and beam strait into the heart of our Savior’s love.  For here is where true joy will fill those wounded places and transform our hearts.  

And may our tears flow…for “those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.  ” –Psalm 126:5-6

This Christmas I am so thankful to have my whole family together.  Each precious smile and hug and giggle and warm snuggle are gifts that bring me so much joy.  God is good.  And worthy to be praised.  

“ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” -2 Corinthians 4:17

***update on ministry will be posted in the next couple of weeks.  things are slow during the holidays but will be back in swing come the new year.***
http://www.soulsurvivorstories.com/