― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
There is a light
It burns brighter than the sun
He steals the night
And casts no shadow
There is hope
Should oceans rise and mountains fall
He never fails - excerpt from song Take Heart by Hillsong United
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of it's sorrows, but only empties today of it's strength." -Charles Spurgeon
We sat down to partake in a cup of warm comfort at the corner coffee shop. A friend I have known for a long time. Who shares my birthday…and my love for Jesus. Her warm smile and unassuming manner till safe ground…to be honest…raw…and downright ugly, if need be. We divulge our triumphs…our failures…and our struggles. She is one of those people who lighten the weight with laughter, tears and loads of grace…we lay our flawed souls bare.
Me and my striving and falling and trying to fix things
unfixable and running and hiding from the boogie man always comes down to one
big heaping pile of clumsy chaos. No
squeaky clean image on this front.
And she shares her own story of redemption and grace and the
ugly to beauty…and in these precious heart to messy heart moments…I don’t feel
so alone. So ashamed. So beyond repair. And this is community.
The earth turns and the sun rises beaming rays onto our
table…and in our hearts
.
Confession brings those twisted parts of us right into the
light. Where lies are extracted and
Truth rips through confusion opening soul eyes to the deepest parts of
reality. The blurred lines of grey are
no longer shades…but black and white in the raw.
And she doesn’t blink and she doesn’t shrink back. She just says it. What I have been searching for. Where I have been wrestling with the “how can
I do this when I don’t want to do this and it feels so against the grain of my
flesh and my desire…yet it is the Lord’s will and I know it” question.
PEACE. “Rachel, the
only thing I can tell you in this is that you’re just gonna have to find peace
in the midst.”
Deep heavy exhale…
TRUTH. Starts to
unravel angst and I know she is speaking Life.
And so the quest for peace begins…
I walk out into the crisp cool morning air and breathe in deep. And embers blaze resolve where the shadows
haunted hope.
My inclination is to extinguish the fires of conflict and drive
out discomfort when life’s harmony turns to cacophony…and if I can’t fix it…finding
the nearest exit to flee. Hit the eject
button right out of those circumstances or relationships and back into my happy
place.
But in efforts to try and escape…I’m caught in a rip tide
searching for stable ground…because there’s always something chasing you when
you’re on the run. And the hurt just
doesn’t go away.
And so maybe it’s time to stop running…stop fixing…stop managing…and
stop fighting the pursuer. He just might
be a messenger. That needs to be heard. He just might be a beacon of Truth that will
light up the darkness we indulge. He
just might be the very fire to consume and purify the hard black dross on our
hearts…purifying…redeeming…and showing us the way.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by
prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to
God. And the peace of God, which
surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus.” –Ephesians
4:6-7
It will GUARD my heart and my mind. Protect it. From all the loud noises of the
world and my own wayward thoughts and fleshly desires and failures…and where
the currents of life have dragged far from comfort and banged up hopes and
dreams…and even when evil stalks and tries to crush…there is Peace to be had in
these places.
For a great king who had been
hunted…committed adultery and murder…lost a child to sickness…dethroned…betrayed
by his son…and abandoned by his people…he knew Peace. “I will say of the LORD, He is
my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." –Psalm 91:2
The Lord IS the eye of the storm. Why do I keep going out into the squall when
shelter is but a bended knee away? That
is the question…
To pray and ask and offer up thanksgiving…it is the life
raft I keep looking away from because I am SO FOCUSED on the STORM.
But oh so gently…God graciously opens my eyes to what has
wormed itself deep into the fabric of my heart.
FEAR. I called it
stress. I called it anxiety. I called it anger. I called it worry. But fear…no…that was for the weak. Overwhelmed…but not fearful. Tired…but not timid. Oh how blind we can be…
And Truth points to Truth points to Truth…when you mine the
written Word…another gem…another promise…another call to bow low.
“But He said to me, “My
grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will
boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest
on me. That is
why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” -2 Corinthians 12:9-10
So really it all comes down to this…that
squeaky clean image that I said wasn’t on this front…yeah right. I’ve stepped right into those gale winds and
torrential rains putting all my faith into my own pink ruffle umbrella. “How’s it workin’ for ya?” you might
ask. Let’s just say ragamuffin. That about sums it up.
And here’s the beauty…the gem…the Truth searing
its way into a ragamuffin heart. Now
that I can distinguish that floundering weak fearful soul grasping for shelter
and peace and escape…I can also see that the life raft doesn’t move with the
tossing of the sea. It is a cross…where
a ransom was paid…where a Hero died…and conquered death…all to save a
ragamuffin like me.
And if all the pain and discomfort and fear
and weakness drive me back to the arms of my Savior…they are but mere tools in
a broken world devised to shut down counterfeit pink umbrellas. And lay me bare before the True Peace Giver
and Soul Restorer where I can rest…even in the darkest hours.
So when the power goes out and the storms
are raging…look for the EYE of Hope…right there in the squall…in the battle…in
the heat. He’s waiting…wooing…with arms
open wide to bring you into a place of rest and shield you from the world’s
fury.
Kneel.
Confess. Ask. Give
thanks. Repeat…Repeat…Repeat…
The cool air taunts as the morning frost glistens. Melting into the noon warmth of October
flame. And my heart burns Grace. And the haze of today’s horizon fades away with
beaming promises blazing Glory.
"There is no way to peace along the way of safety. For
peace must be dared, it is itself the great venture and can never be
safe. Peace is the opposite of security. To demand guarantees is to
want to protect oneself. Peace means giving oneself completely to God's
commandment, wanting no security, but in faith and obedience laying the
destiny of the nations in the hand of Almighty God, not trying to
direct it for selfish purposes. Battles are won, not with weapons, but
with God. They are won when the way leads to the cross."- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
well said...
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