Letter to my grandmommy

Dear Grandmommy,

I sit here writing and thinking about you lying in the hospital bed right now. Rogue cells taking over all the organs in your body as your heart continues to pump life. And I know you’re not ready to go. I know you would love nothing more than to spend many more years with your 4 beautiful daughters and your high school sweetheart who you have been married to for 62 years and your 8 grandchildren who love you deeply and your 3 great-grandchildren who are just getting to know you and all your “favorite son-in-laws” and your one of a kind grandson-in-law…(oh wait! You have 2!) and all of your longtime faithful friends and all the rest of the family that you so faithfully keep in touch with.

But the doctors have told us that you only have days left here on this earth. And I am very sad. Sad that you won’t be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas and all the other holidays and birthdays. Sad that all those who love you so much won’t be able to see you and hear your voice and share in sweet moments of laughter and joy. Sad that my kids won’t get to know you and your kind heart and sweet spirit and have more memories with their great grandmother. Sad that we have to say goodbye to a very beloved woman to so many people.

But there is also a very large part of me that is so excited for YOU! You are being called home. To your real home. Into the arms of Jesus. Where you will finally see Him face to face and your faith will be sight and all the promises you have believed will be realized and all that you have hoped for all your life in Christ will be known. His great love and grace no longer tangled in the confinement of circumstances and doubting minds and our fallen broken world. All your soul longings that have never been filled will overflow.
And as you walk into eternity and leave this place of time and decay behind…I want you to know how much you are loved and the stamp that your life has had on so many…especially mine.

I remember when I was little and thinking that I had the best grandmother’s in the whole world. I loved coming over to your house and going upstairs and playing in all the old toys of my mom and aunts. I loved playing dress up and barbies and all the neat old games you played with me. And cards. How we loved to play cards. I remember our tea parties and adorning myself in all your nightgowns and going back into that room with the green striped bedspread and old player piano and I felt like I had gone into another time. I remember you taking me to work which was so much fun. Empty homes full of wonder and imagination and I’d explore and make up stories of drama while you’d drive a for sale sign in the front yard.

So many memories as a child that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

And as an adult…I have come to admire so much more about you than I could see as a child. Your presence. The power of being at birthdays celebrations and cheerleading gigs and sports events and anything and everything that your loved ones were proud to celebrate…you were there.

And in the hard times. Your children and grandchildren and friends dealt with their own hand of suffering and sadness and you were there. I’ve never known someone to go to so many funerals!!! And it’s not just that you show up for the sake of duty…you want to be there. You anchor your heart right there in the beauty and tears and offer a steady assurance of your love and grace. Your life has been about your relationships. And isn’t that what the Gospel calls us to!

Your life has been a great blessing to me…even in the darkest times. You have been through so many challenges and painful life marathons and have always suffered with the utmost dignity and grace. You have never been a victim of the circumstances of life. You just keep pressing on.

I know this last year has been extremely difficult for you physically with your fall and now the return of this cancer. But you have been one determined woman to keep living the days that the Lord has given you…without complaining or falling into despair. Your suffering has not defined you…it has made your light shine even brighter.
You are a proverbs 31 woman.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The Lord has blessed you abundantly and covered you in Grace and is calling you home. And I will miss you so so much and think of you often and count the blessings and beauty of life that he’s given through you and sweet memories of my beautiful grandmother will continue to fill my heart…until the end of my days…

Sending all my love and tears and joy...all wrapped with one big hug bow!!! ...ever had one of those???

rachel

Psalm 90:12
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.